Sheldon [00:00:00]:

Have you heard me speak before on either my keynotes or maybe one of my webinars or free webinars that I offer from time to time? If not, I want to draw your attention to my latest keynote, entitled How Do I Make Stem? In this session, I answer four questions for Stem educators how can we make Stem memorable? How can we make Stem considerate how can we make Stem familiar? And how can we make Stem emotional? This is a personal journey that I.

Sheldon [00:00:28]:

Will take you through.

Sheldon [00:00:29]:

I talk about my high school experience, my love and hate for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics as a young kid, and I share strategies on how we can again make Stem memorable, considerate, familiar, and emotional. Leadquitycenter.com consulting. On today's episode, I have Miss Charda Hollins. Charday Hollands is an independently licensed clinical social worker with a proven record of making connections that deliver results. In this conversation, we're talking about how to build a self care plan within your classroom norms.

Sheldon [00:01:06]:

So the thing about it is, like.

Sheldon [00:01:08]:

We talk about having our own personal self care plans and having our students have their own self care plans. But what if we have a self care plan? From a classroom perspective? How does a teacher engage in their students and understand the individual needs of their students?

Sheldon [00:01:24]:

And how do they support that? We're talking all about that.

Sheldon [00:01:27]:

The conversation begins with Charde explaining the connection between families living in poverty and mental health. We move into mental illnesses when students are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, and then we go deep into self care plans for your classrooms. Stay tuned. Welcome to the leading Equity podcast. My name is Dr. Sheldon L. Aikens, and for over a decade, I've helped educators become better advocates for their students. What is an advocate? An advocate is someone who recognizes that we don't live in a just society. Advocates aren't comfortable with the status quo and are willing to speak up on behalf of others. No matter where you are. In your journey towards ensuring all of your students are equipped with the resources they need to thrive, I'm here to help you build your knowledge and confidence to ensure equity at your school.

Sheldon [00:02:24]:

Welcome, advocates, to another episode of The Leading Equity Podcast, a podcast that focuses on supporting educators with the tools and resources necessary to ensure equity at their schools. Today's special guest is Ms. Charda Hollins. So without further ado charda, thank you so much for joining us today.

Charde Hollins [00:02:42]:

Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

Sheldon [00:02:46]:

We talked about a month or so ago, and it was very interesting because we have a common affinity in regards to high school and college, and you know my brother very well. I was excited for that, really excited for that. So we both went to Pine Forge Academy. And we also went to Oakwood University. So shout out to those institutions some of the best years of my life were both high school and also in college as well. So just small world. These aren't the largest schools out there, so I was excited about that.

Charde Hollins [00:03:29]:

Not at all. But definitely look into them. They're both historically black institutions. The high school is the boarding school, Palm Forge Academy, and the college Oakwood University. So excellence is no accident. And departing to serve, which is what we're doing, aren't we, Sheldon?

Sheldon [00:03:45]:

That's what we do. All right. I found out you were just a few, I guess a few years behind me. And so, you know, my brother who's younger than me, and so were you all in the same class? Where was he at in regards to relatives, to where you were?

Charde Hollins [00:04:03]:

Yeah, so he's actually in the same class as my sister, and so they were about two classes ahead of me, so I was able to spend two years with him. And we also were in Creative Arts, the drama group there. So we got to travel around and have loads of fun.

Sheldon [00:04:18]:

Great. Again, small connection. This is awesome. So before we get into today's topic, I'd love for you, Charda, to share a little bit about yourself and what you currently do.

Charde Hollins [00:04:28]:

Yes. My name is Charda Hollins. I am a licensed clinical social worker. I've had wonderful experience working with the most vulnerable populations within corrections, hospital setting as well as schools and community. I definitely have a passion for making sure that individuals are receiving culturally competent care within mental health. And for that reason, after working within schools and working with different nonprofit organizations as a clinician in the community, I decided to launch my own consulting firm in order to support educators as well as other individuals who have the same passion and commitment to equity and making sure that we align and integrate what it looks like for mental health to be physical health. What does that look like in the classroom? What does that look like in everyday moments from a business perspective all the way to our youth and children? And so with that, I've been honored to sit on many committees, both locally as well as statewide, to help with spreading that initiative and ensuring that culturally competent mental health care is available for all.

Sheldon [00:05:41]:

All right, thank you for the work that you're doing. And I want to start off by asking you, what is the connection between families that are living in poverty and mental health?

Charde Hollins [00:05:54]:

Great question. So when we think about poverty, we think about not being able to meet your own needs. And so first, what's really important is that we identified some definitions. So when we talk about mental health, it's the state of emotional and psychological well being. Like, it's the ability to do everyday things with some type of normal capacity. So you're aware of your own abilities, you're able to contribute to your community, you're able to work productively, you're able to tackle the normal difficulties of life. And oftentimes when we think about even those of us who are within what we would say, middle class or things of that nature, when we find ourselves in a space where we cannot afford something that we need or even that we want, we recognize that our mental health is at stake. We feel an increase in stress. We feel an increase in depression. We feel an increase in anxiety. And it literally shuts us down. And so when we look at what that correlation is here in America, nearly 11 million children are living in poverty, and that's one in seven children. Of course, with those children come adults. And when we talk about living in poverty, that means that you are not able to meet the needs of your family, including the needs of your health, which means medication, preventative care, and all of those things that come with it, as well as access to care. Because if I have to choose between going to the doctor or going to work, I'm going to choose work because I need to make sure that I get those hours. And so what we're finding is oftentimes those who live in poverty reasonably neglect their health, both physical and mental, because of the consistent need to stay caught up with bills. And so, of course, that exacerbates the issue, and prevention is not there, which means now we're moving into an illness. We're moving into something that really needs to be maintained on a regular basis because preventative methods were not taken place due to needing to continue to provide for their family and their loved ones because of poverty. So it really is a domino effect. It really is a cycle. And oftentimes when we live in a space where we don't necessarily have to worry about where money is coming from, we forget that what comes as an instant moment for us of stress because of we don't know how the bill is going to get paid or we're not able to purchase something that's an instant minute for us. That's literally somebody's ongoing life status and what kind of burden is that presenting to them and how is that affecting their mental health and their ability to receive care?

Sheldon [00:08:55]:

Okay, I got a lot of questions and a lot of thoughts because everything you said, it makes a lot of sense. And I've worked in communities in which 100% free and reduced lunch was part of the student demographics. And so you see a lot of these things where our families, especially our kids, they depended on our breakfast and the lunch that we offered at the school. And I always wonder, like, what happens on the weekends, what happens for dinner, those kind of things. Obviously, when the school provides lunch and breakfast, that helps. But then those aren't the only times that our kids or our families are hungry. So I'm curious. When you mentioned mental illness, you mentioned anxiety, stress, and depression. But forgive my ignorance, but would those be considered as mental illnesses or are we discussing something else?

Charde Hollins [00:09:49]:

So it's a broad range so, yes, that can be included in the range of mental illness. Someone who suffers from severe anxiety, severe depression, severe stress and things of that nature. Of course, we can go further into the diagnosis and start talking about bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, things of that nature. But oftentimes when we're talking about mental illness and poverty, it starts because of that stress and that depression and the anxiety that then triggers an even more so onset of something else. So if we were actually able to do preventative care, if we were actually able to recognize signs and symptoms, we could support adults and children in making sure that one, they are able to better manage their illness or two, they're able to have more support so that it doesn't go to that extreme. And so that all is encompassing of it.

Sheldon [00:10:57]:

Got it. Now, you mentioned earlier that unfortunately, a lot of our families do not have the health care services, that they can't afford the health care services. And so I would imagine that a lot of our families or our students are operating in schools undiagnosed. So tell me a little bit about what that could look like in schools. I'm just curious about those kind of things.

Charde Hollins [00:11:28]:

Yes, the undiagnosed rate is extremely high. However, what's even more prevalent is the misdiagnosis. So when we talk about misdiagnosis, especially when it comes to mental health, oftentimes, especially our black and brown youth, specifically, boys are often diagnosed based off their behavior, not based off of their feeling. So we find that because a black boy or black girl may be more verbal or physical in how they show aggression or how they show anxiety or depression, that they're giving a diagnosis like oppositional defiant disorder, which means that basically they don't want to listen and they refuse to pay attention or they have ADHD or Add, things of that nature. So it's behavior based, right? It's not really feeling based. But when you have their counterpart who may be showing signs and symptoms of depression that aren't as external, they're more internal, then we would give them things like depression, anxiety. And so we find this misdiagnosis, which then leads to a misunderstanding of how to treat and a lack of empathy for what that child is going through. So as a teacher, as a clinician, as an educator, we now are looking at a black boy who has a diagnosis of oppositional defiance. He fights, he doesn't sit down in class, he's often missing. And it's just like what is going on? And when he is present, if we're honest, we wish he wasn't because it's just not a pleasant experience that some people may say. On the other hand, you have a white young girl who is quiet and she may be cutting herself, she may be having thoughts of suicide and things of that nature. And what the school does is they provide that child with some wraparound services because we need to make sure that she knows her life is worth living. We need to make sure that she is empowered to cope with life situations that are outside of harming herself, maybe get her own medication, whatever the case may be. But services are wrapped around this young girl, as they should be, because she's been diagnosed with depression and is showing some signs and symptoms that allow people to express empathy for her. However, when we talk about the black population, many times the symptoms of anxiety and depression do not cause us to have empathy. They cause us really to be frustrated because it looks like anger, it looks like retaliation, it looks like disobedience. And so we find ourselves in this situation where it's like you technically have two people who are experiencing the same feeling. However, the external of that looks totally different. And so what is it that we do? How do we support both of them within the classroom? How? As educators and as social workers alike? Because we're coming together in this multi systemic approach on wraparound services. Both of these individuals are having suicidal ideation, but they're looking at it differently. And that's really where equity comes in. That's really where poverty and mental health and culture come in because we have to recognize that both of their lives are worth living and both of them need those wraparound services. And we can't expel one and support one with after school programming and all type of extracurricular activities. That's not how it should go. So what do we do? How can we improve that? That is what we have to come.

Sheldon [00:15:22]:

Together and realize, okay, well, let's come together there. So how do we challenge these stigmas? Implicit Bias what suggestions do you have?

Charde Hollins [00:15:31]:

Well, the suggestions that I have, many people have shared. But the ones that I really want to focus in on that are unique is starting at the top, having the uncomfortable conversations at the beginning of the school year. And when I say uncomfortable conversations because they are children, we're going to make them as comfortable as possible. But they're really just going to be uncomfortable for us as adults because really we're the ones who carry this stigma. Many times our young people are very open with talking about their feelings or how they view the world, especially in this new generation. But one of the key things is developing a self care plan for your classroom. And what does that look like? What it looks like is being able to provide your students with different questions that they will be able to answer so that you already know how to support them when you see signs and symptoms of anger, depression or frustration. So it is a form that asks, how do you show when you're sad? Like, are you someone who is quiet when you get upset, if somebody were to say something to you that makes you angry, how would you like for me to respond? And you can have different ideas, right? You can do check boxes so that there's three ways in which you could respond and you have the student check which box they like. Something like when you are feeling angry, would you prefer to have quiet time alone or do you want me to come in and say hello, check a box. So these are just different questions. I actually have a resource that allows for educators to be able to download and get this so that way they can have it for their classroom. You can modify it to fit your classroom because, of course, based on your grade, your age and things of that nature, it would need to be adapted. But this way, when something is happening and you see a young person who is sad or who's angry or who comes in late or whatever the case may be, you already know what signs and symptoms to look for and you already know how to support them. One of the ones that I really like and that I know educators always enjoy is you ask them about songs. You say, what is a song that makes you feel happy? What is the song that you listen to when you need to feel empowered? What is your favorite candy or favorite treat? Right. So you find out these tidbits about them. And so when something is happening in the classroom and you recognize that this person is really to themselves today, or somebody says something and it wasn't the nicest thing, all of a sudden in your classroom, you just start playing a song. And no one else in the classroom knows whose song it is, but they know that they've all filled out this form. But the student that you want to reach hears the song. And all of a sudden, in that moment where you couldn't have time to go touch them, you couldn't have time to talk to them, you don't want to call them out because you don't want to embarrass them. They know that on their self care plan that they filled out at the beginning of the school year, that they said when they feel a certain way, this is the song that they like to hear. And now you've just connected with that student without saying a word.

Sheldon [00:18:50]:

So this self care plan is a classroom. Would it be similar to a classroom norms like first few weeks of school? These are some of the structures, or these are some protocols, if you will, that we set up for our classroom community. And it sounds like the self care plan should be built in not an add on, but just part of your classroom community. Is that what I'm hearing?

Charde Hollins [00:19:15]:

Absolutely. Because if we're honest, the things that we're doing now, when we start the school year. They're about your favorite color. What did you do over the summer? I mean, in those questions, many times these students have been with each other since kindergarten or they're very surface questions. So, I mean, if that's something that educator still wants to do, that's fine, but let's really start getting more in depth to learn about our youth so that way we can support them when it really matters. So, yes, it will be a part of that. And one of the biggest things that I like most is that you're also teaching them how to cope with their own emotions, how to explore and explain how to recognize their feelings. Because even though they may not recognize it, in that moment, you recognized it for them. And now they can feel okay with feeling the way that they feel instead of shunning it away.

Sheldon [00:20:12]:

Got you. Could you differentiate between what that looks like at the primary levels, maybe even early child? I don't know how low you would go with creating these self care plans, but could you kind of differentiate with the language that you would give to the students or provide to the students when it comes to maybe elementary, early childhood versus secondary, middle, and high?

Charde Hollins [00:20:35]:

Absolutely. So definitely with your most likely your third and K through third. You're looking at pictures, right? So there will be pictures of when I feel and you have like, a picture of a sad face, a happy face, a mad face you can support me by or you can help by. And then it's like you have a picture of someone giving a hug or someone going into a time out or someone reading a book. So that way that young person, if they're not able to actually write it out, they can put a picture to their plan, and that gives them time to where they now have to sit with themselves to figure out, well, what do I like when I'm sad? Or what do I like when I'm feeling upset? Or how is it that my teacher can provide positive reinforcement? Because we know we all have different love languages. And if I'm forever telling a student, good job, good job, when really their love language is the fact that I allow them to be a leader or come up front, I want to make sure I know that. So that way, when there is opportunities for them to lead or to do that, I can empower them by saying, hey, you did a great job on XYZ. Why don't you lead the class in reading XYZ or lead the class in the line today so that way they recognize that they've been affirmed and that's what they need in order for their self care plan.

Sheldon [00:22:08]:

Raise your hand if you buy that book by Dr. Sheldon Aikens. Put your hand up.

Sheldon [00:22:16]:

Looking for an engaging speaker for your next event, whether it's webinars, workshops, keynotes, or one on one coaching. I'm here to help you.

Sheldon [00:22:26]:

Our students live in two different worlds.

Sheldon [00:22:28]:

Often the norms in their community and.

Sheldon [00:22:30]:

Then the norms within their school, and.

Sheldon [00:22:32]:

They often aren't the same. For more information, go to leadingequitycenter.com consulting or click on the link in the show notes and let's work together.

Sheldon [00:22:45]:

I love this conversation. Charda, you're spitting game. And I appreciate that. Okay, as you were talking, I was thinking about okay, because the whole pull up their favorite song. Like as a teacher, you're doing your pulse check. You can kind of tell kids are feeling a certain way, but again, you don't want to call them out and say, hey, this song, david, this is your song we'll play for you.

Charde Hollins [00:23:09]:

Right?

Sheldon [00:23:10]:

You're not going to do that. But I was just like, okay, if I'm a teacher and I'm teaching, like in middle instruction, I want to take a break or whatever and switch over to songs. What is the best way to kind of have these songs available? And I'm just like, what if you have a spotify and just have a whole playlist or whatever account you utilize and just having a playlist that you could just again pull up the playlist and boom, hit the right song for the right students? Is that maybe a suggested way to kind of set these songs up or have them ready to go so that you're not taking away too much time when it comes to that transition?

Charde Hollins [00:23:49]:

Yes. So that's why it's important to do it in the beginning, right? So you already have it. So now you as the educator can go back and create literally each classroom for whatever period has a list. And you'll probably find a lot of the kids have similar songs just because of how life is. Right. But I actually implemented this as a social worker when I worked in juvenile corrections on a unit with youth who were incarcerated for years, and I was on what was called the gang unit. So when people came to my unit, not only were you incarcerated, but you were incarcerated inside of incarceration because you just did not want to be there. And I realized I had to find ways very quickly on how to engage them, how to show them that I'm there to support them, how to also let them be okay with recognizing how they're feeling in that moment without, quote, unquote, embarrassing them. Right. Because there's still an image that people want to have, and there's also still time that I can't always be there in that moment to drop things. And it definitely played a key role in them knowing that I cared and also in them being able to then feel okay with the fact that they were going through something and push through. Because once again, it's songs that allow them to push through. It's songs that empower them. It's songs that make them reflect or think. So that way they're not staying in that negative space for a long period of time.

Sheldon [00:25:16]:

Got you. Okay. Now, I can imagine from thinking, putting my equity hat on, I can imagine not every kid is going to want a song. Song is not going to help everybody, right? So what are some other ways so let's say a song is not going to be the ideal scenario or remedy, if you will, for this child. What are some other things that a teacher can do or even put on that survey? That self care plan survey, that can be an alternative if songs are not the option.

Charde Hollins [00:25:49]:

Yeah. So you think about how you structure your classroom. Different buildings, different educators have different ways that they structure their classroom. And so part of what's on the form for the plan says, when I feel and it has a blank and it says a visual sign that I'm feeling this way. And then the last question is an internal coping skill that I will use and how to support me. So in practice, if I'm doing it, I would say when I feel sad, a visual sign that I'm feeling this way is that I begin to bite my fingernails. An internal coping skill that I will use is and this once again allows the young person to utilize self reflection and to really think, what will I do in order to cope with the fact that I'm sad? So my internal coping skill will be that I will think positive thoughts. I will do my best to analyze the situation. Right. And then the last question is, how can you support me? And so as a student, I will put allow if I ask to get some water, allow me that time, or if I ask to allow me time to walk around the classroom to go sharpen a pencil or to stretch. So it's like different cues that the student is putting in there saying, this is a visual sign of me feeling this way, and I'm going to do my best to internally cope. But in case I can't, this is how you can support me. So that when I do ask to get up and stretch, you don't think that I'm just doing it because I'm trying to get over. Or when I do ask to get some water, you don't think I'm just doing it to get over, but you recognize the visual sign of me feeling a certain way. And so you're going to support me by saying, yes, actually, go ahead. Why don't you take two minutes and stretch or whatever the case may be. Or would you like to stand up to do your assignment? I know sometimes you like to get out of your seat. Why don't you go stand over there and you could just do your assignment standing up if you like. These are different conversations that you can now have. And then you can know how to structure your classroom because not every teacher thinks to structure their classroom in a way where a student should be allowed to stand up and do their work. That's not a thought. But if I know that there is somebody who, when they feel anxious, when they feel embarrassed, that sitting down in their seat makes it look like everybody's looking at them, even though nobody's looking at them, but for some reason, I just feel like I need to move whenever I feel anxious or whenever I feel embarrassed. And so if standing up works for me, especially because we just can't have every kid roaming the hallway, then what area in your classroom are you assigning as the stand up section? That has maybe a stand up desk where they can put their stuff right up there and stand up and do something. But now you know that now those are things to think about because you know that student is fidgety. You know that student just needs to kind of get away because they feel like all eyes on them or whatever the case may be. So there's definitely many things that as educators, you can do outside of music, but it really boils down to having that conversation and talking it over with your students.

Sheldon [00:29:09]:

Okay, I have another question. Okay, so we do this in the beginning of the year. Would you suggest revisiting this document, the self care plan, sometime in the school year as well?

Charde Hollins [00:29:26]:

Yes. So just like with anything else, we have our progress reports, you have your open houses, you have all of these times where you're checking in. This should be a part of the check in because there might be a new song that comes out that now has totally taken the lead. Or there might be a song where they don't want to listen to anymore because that's actually the song that somebody broke up with them with. We don't want to do that.

Sheldon [00:29:48]:

Right.

Charde Hollins [00:29:49]:

So, yes, we definitely want to continue to have those check ins so that way we can update what is needed. And you'll find, too, that the students will actually come to you and tell you so many times, because this has become a practice, they'll actually come to you and say, you know what, by the way, that's not my song anymore. Can we switch it to such and such? And it's not even checkup time. But because it's become a practice, because it's become something that's a part of the culture of your classroom, they will come to you and share different things. And so now you can make a note of it, or you can tell them, thank you for letting me know. Go ahead and update your file and put it on my desk before the day is over. However, whatever structure you want to put.

Sheldon [00:30:33]:

In place, how frequently would you suggest.

Charde Hollins [00:30:36]:

A teacher checks in for specifically this self care plan? I do think doing it based off of. Quarters is good just because I understand how busy educators are. And so we don't want it to be something that's a burden, but something that is an aid for support. So once again, you would integrate it into your natural check in. Usually every quarter, you're already doing some type of check in for grades or whatever the case may be. So this is just a part of that. It's just already there. And one of the biggest things that I really like too about this is that you as an educator should do a self care plan.

Sheldon [00:31:15]:

There you go.

Charde Hollins [00:31:17]:

Yes. Imagine imagine this, okay, you are in your classroom, and you are getting very frustrated because we are human and we're frustrated, and we have identified what our telltale sign is of frustration. I have a four year old daughter, and my telltale sign of frustration is I clap my hands and I breathe heavy. I go, Daddy, literally every time. I did not recognize that was a telltale frustration for me until me and my daughter did self care plans. And I had to figure out, what do I do when I feel frustrated? And I realized that's it. And so I made that plan with her. And my thing was, when I feel overwhelmed, I clapped my hands inside. An internal coping skill that I use is that I remember that you are four years old and that I love you. How you can support me is if you could give Mommy 10 seconds to just think. And so that is literally a practice that me and my daughter had. And sometimes she only gives me 5 seconds. Sometimes she gives me ten. Sometimes she gives me more. But what it does is it allows me to have that extra moment. I need to remember why it is that I truly love and adore my daughter to bring myself together. But it also teaches my daughter empathy and how to recognize social cues, because now she is now looking and saying, okay, Mommy, I'm going to give you some time. And it's the same concept within our classrooms. Imagine being a teacher and your students knowing your tell signs of how to support you, and next thing you know, the classroom goes silent on its own, or one of the peers are telling the other peers, all right, you all chill out because we are getting a little loud. You can tell Miss Silence is getting a little frustrated. So everybody just chill out, right? And so now your classroom is advocating on your behalf. Your classroom is showing empathy. Your classroom is showing support for you as the educator. That is a whole nother level of social emotional learning and concepts here. And it's practical and engaging, and it meets the everyday need. So I encourage educators to also fill this out and to share yours on the wall or when you're sharing about things to know about me, your self care plan should be a part of it. You should share with them what your tell signs are, what you would like from them as students to support you when XYZ is happening.

Sheldon [00:33:55]:

I talk about this in my book modeling Vulnerability and Humility. It's a whole chapter on that because we ask our students to open up and share with us and tell us, like you said, what's going to help them and what supports their needs. But again, that means it requires them to be vulnerable and then at the same time, if we're not doing the same thing, if we're not modeling those characteristics, then that is not going to really build upon that relationship that we all want to have or we should have within our classrooms. One of the key things, Chardy, that you mentioned that really just I don't blew my mind is the right word because you've been just dropping nuggets all day. But one of the things that really stood out for me was just the fact that you do this at home. So like our educators, like if you got kids at home, I would imagine you probably could do it with your partners, your spouse and those kind of things. But I see how that's transferable not just for the classroom but also at home as well.

Charde Hollins [00:34:57]:

Absolutely, it's very transferable when I'm talking with I mean, I have it with my friends as well. So it's just very important that we have open conversations about how we can support each other many times when we work within social services or any kind of human service space. Educator when we're giving, when you're a giver at work, it is hard to be a giver for yourself and so it's important that we set up from the top, like what are different things that would make me feel supportive when I cannot ask for help. So the whole point of a self care plan is preventative because I know when I'm in the middle of frustration, when I'm in the middle of anxiety or stress, the last thing I need is for somebody to ask me how can I help? And I'm like, I can't think about how you can help because I'm too busy drowning right now. And the worst thing as someone on the other end is when you see someone you care for that you really want to support but you have no idea how to help them. And it can be loss of life, it could be stubbing your toe, it could be the biggest to the smallest thing. But if you have a self care plan of different things that you already know makes that person feel seen, heard and valued, then you give them free rein to be able to drop those nuggets every now and then. That's as simple as what are some of your favorite treats once again? Music. What's your favorite color? It could be the most simplest things when it comes to your children or it can be, I enjoy a hug. When you see mommy getting frustrated, just give me a hug and don't talk. And so next thing you know, I could be in the kitchen doing dishes and I'm just like struggling and my daughter will come over and just give me a hug because she can see the frustration on my face because I'm cooking, I'm cleaning, I'm doing all this. And in those 5 seconds, this is like, thank you. And then she just goes back someplace. But these are the things that the only way she knows that is because I've articulated that to her. So now she can use her emotional cues to be able to grow and have empathy for others.

Sheldon [00:37:19]:

Okay, got one more question. Well, I probably got more, but I got one that's on my mind. Okay, I'm putting my special ed lens on now. And how does this relate? Or is there a way that we can, I don't know, collaborate with our if we have students with IEPs or 504 plans, are there ways that we can connect those self care plans, especially with the students, with our special ed groups and things like that?

Charde Hollins [00:37:48]:

Yes, your IEPs and things of that nature really are educational self care plans because it's supposed to be. What can we do to make sure you succeed academically, to create an environment for you that allows you to thrive despite whatever barriers you may have that is no fault of your own? That is what that is supposed to do. And so what the self care plan says is, in the meantime, of you thriving academically, we want to make sure that you're thriving emotionally as well. So what can we do for preventative how can we know before it even happens? Some of your triggers, some of the things that may frustrate you, some of the things that even make you happy. So integrating it into that plan so that people who are working with that child will know. Because if you've ever been in a space where in my classroom this child is perfect, in this classroom, this child is not doing well at all. It's like what has happened here? What is the difference? The same child, but it's a different environment. But if we all have the same base, yes, we all are going to have different personalities. There'll be differences. But if I know and everyone on the team knows that this is a sign and a symptom of them feeling a certain type of way, this is what this child has committed to doing internally to cope before needing external support. And then this is how we can support them. Because one of the questions will always be is did you do your internal coping first? And that's something that can be part of the conversation because, yes, we do recognize that some students may skip the internal coping piece, but we don't want them to do that. So let's have conversations. And if we recognize that a student is being overstimulized or needing continuous support externally having the conversation and doing a check in and said, hey, I recognize that you've been having a lot of these signs and in your self care plan, this is what you said you would do in order to internally cope. Are you doing that? Let's talk about it. Yes, I'm doing it, but it's not working. Okay, well, walk me through what it is that you do or let's figure out a way that we can do something else because if that's not working, let's find something that is working so that way I can be able to support you. But most importantly, you can be able to support yourself because you're going to be stuck with you forever and I am not going to be here forever. So I need you to know how to cope internally, most importantly, and just having those conversations.

Sheldon [00:40:29]:

I think at the end of the day, again, most educators I know that especially when it comes to equity work, it all boils down to relationships. And to me this is just the primer, if you will, to get those relationships formed, especially at the beginning of the school year, not just filing away those self care plans and doing nothing with them. Okay, I got this info. I did it, but really checking in periodically and then creating a space. I don't remember who I spoke to, but the language he utilizes telling students I invite you, I invite you to share with me if your songs change. I invite you to share with me if you're feeling a certain way or you want to make some tweaks to your plan, or you have made some tweaks to your plan and just to update me, but just really, again, honing in on those relationships. Charda, here's the thing. I have definitely considered you as providing a voice in leading equity. I'd love for you to share with our audience one final word of advice.

Charde Hollins [00:41:35]:

When all else fails, empathy reigns. And so remembering that at the root of it all, we want to be able to show and express that we care. One of my favorite quotes that I've lived by is Theodore Roosevelt nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care. And so living by that, making sure that we're showing up every day as our authentic selves in order to support the students is important. And utilizing things like the self care plan at the top will help to make sure that when they are in a rut or in a bad space that you already know what you can do to support them. And it's organically within your classroom setting. It's not something that's external, but it's organically intertwined within what you do every day.

Sheldon [00:42:30]:

You're bringing the fire. You brought the fire. Mike, drop everything. Again, thank you so much. If we have some folks that want to connect with you. Charda, what's the best way to reach online and how do they get their hands on that self care plan?

Charde Hollins [00:42:44]:

Yes, if you go to my website, which is relevantconnections.org. So the name of my organization is Relevant Connections because we believe in making sure that we're having meaningful dialogue and meaningful results. So relevantconnections.org you'll be able to find that download or you can email me at my last name is Holland [email protected]. And of course, social media is Relevant Connections on on all those platforms as well.

Sheldon [00:43:22]:

All right, once again, I have Charda Hollins here with us today. Thank you, Charda, so much for your help. It has been a pleasure.

Charde Hollins [00:43:30]:

Thank you for having me.

Sheldon [00:43:31]:

This episode was brought to you by the Leading Equity Center. For more podcast, interviews, and resources, head on over to leadingequitycenter.com.

Key Words

poverty, mental health, children, physical health, prevention, self-care plan, emotional support, positive reinforcement, love language, emotional well-being, student needs, classroom activity, coping mechanisms, teacher support, uncomfortable conversations, favorite songs, favorite treats, human services, social services, misdiagnosis, black and brown youth, white girls, equitable access, suicidal ideation, IEPs, academic barriers, internal coping mechanisms, emotional engagement, incarcerated youth, gang unit, mental health care, cultural competence, consulting firm, equity.

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