Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:00:00]:
Let's dig into today's agenda. We're going to start with principles of attachment theory. They will move into attachment theories impact on sense of belonging. As always, a reminder here, the formula, that is what guides us through this book and through the sense of belonging. In general, the formulas, a student must feel accepted, included, and support it. Can I have a sense of belonging without these 3? You'll see how today's topic is gonna tie into the formula, accept it, include it, and support it. Let's get into attachment theory. All right.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:00:37]:
The first one is anxious. Okay. So people that have the anxious attachment style. They crave intimacy, and so these are usually the individuals that are kinda seeking validation. If you're familiar with love languages, You might be thinking, you know, words of affirmation might be something that might be related. Something that shows me that you really do, have that those feelings for me. So they're often asking or they're not sure, Eakins not clear where things are in a relationship and things like that will be part of that anxious attachment. The avoidant, however, attachment style are people that they prefer, like, I don't wanna get myself tied down.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:01:19]:
I don't wanna get locked into a relationship because they like the independency. They may be kinda maybe they had a previous relationship that didn't go well, Now they're a little timid, maybe how they're brought up, things like that. They're attachment to their their parents, and these are the individuals that are often they're the last ones to get into relationship sometimes because they prefer to you know, there's too much pressure being in relationships and things like that. So that would be the avoid attachment styles. Now one of the things that I found interesting in the book attached was, like, if you're into dating apps, you know, your your your tenders, your hinge, all those things. They said that the majority of the individuals that are in those dating apps are either anxious or void. There's also a lot of research that talks about how anxious and avoidance kind of tend to attract to each other. So if you have an anxious attachment style and avoid attachment style, you kinda get drawn to each other.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:02:14]:
Often, those relationships have their their their challenges. Right? Because you got 1 individual who's, like, constantly not clear or sure or need validation often about, you know, where are we at in a relationship, and then you got on the other side, you got an individual that is total opposite of that. Right? They're like, well, I don't really like, you know, being in this relationship, and it's just always unclear. So, yeah, 1 person's it's not really clear on their intentions, and the other person It's not really clear on where things are going, so you can you can imagine how the opposites can attract. K? And then the secure, However, the secure attachment style is where people feel totally fine, and they're not really worried, happy to be in the relationships. And so, this is where, you know, where you wanna be is in a secure attachment style. You might be asking, okay, doctor Eakins, that's nice, but, you know, I'm happily married or I'm I'm not into like, what does this gotta do? What does this gotta do with education? Are you telling us about intimacy and all this stuff? This ain't this ain't got nothing to do with education. Alright.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:03:17]:
So I I hear you. Okay. Stay with me. K. Stay with me. Everything has a reason. I don't just throw stuff together. They'll slice together.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:03:26]:
Okay. Everything has purpose. Everything has a reason behind it. Okay. So I wanna show you how all this relates. Okay. But first, I'm a history guy. I'm gonna give you a little history lesson real quick.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:03:37]:
Alright. So going back to the 19 fifties, doctor John Bowlby, he did a lot of research when it comes to children, for example, and attachments. His evolutionary theory, for example, suggests that children come into the world biologically, pre programmed to form attachments with others because this will help them survive again, human nature. Now Bowlby argued that a child forms many attachments, but one of these is qualitatively different, and this is what he called the primary attachment or the monotrophy. Bowlby suggests that there is a critical period, so around, two and a half years old. If an attachment has not been developed during this time frame, then it may well not happen at all, and Bowlby later proposed a sensitive period of up to 5 years. Now the thing about his research is based off of I mean, he did a lot of work with infants, you know, again, up to about 2 years old is Eakins what was his bread and butter. So you can imagine what he could determine based off of the young age, how a child's attachment is gonna style style is gonna be, and then I'm gonna share with you some further research that came along that kinda can predetermine how and in the based off of those infant child attachments, how that impacts them as adults.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:05:05]:
But he came up with 4 different styles, if you will. Attachments. Proximity maintenance, which is the desire for children to be near the people they're attached to. It makes sense. Right? Human beings, We, as infants, we we again, safety and security, we tend to draw towards the people that take care of us the most, and you'll see how this relates to teachers and and principals and in school environments. Right? The safe haven is a desire to return to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of fear or threat. So when we think about trauma informed care, when we think about challenges at school, for a lot of our students. Let's keep it real.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:05:47]:
For a lot of our students, school is probably one of the safest places for them. A lot of our our kids' background, I remember when COVID happened, it shut down our schools, and how a lot of our kids depended on food, breakfast and lunch to be provided for them, and they depended on, other, you know, their teachers and just the sense of safety and being around their peers and how that impacted a lot of our kids during that time frame because those things were gone. Thinking about the pandemic, like, there was so much happening with the pandemic that CDC was giving us new updates every 5 minutes, seems like. There's all these things different happening. But you can imagine how the safe haven, if our school, is considered a safe haven for our students, bare necessity is for our kids to feel safe, and now that's being taken away, and how that can impact the student's ability to thrive academically, not just academically, but also socially. Now the next one is secure base, the view of attachment figures as a base of security from which children can explore their surrounding environments, and then the last 1 was separation distress, anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure. So what happens when a young child doesn't see their parents? For example, the mom is is steps out the room, young infant. What happens in those those type of thing? That separation distress.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:07:19]:
How does a child respond in those situations? One of doctor Bowlby's students, doctor Mary Ainsworth, she continued on his research, and she's credited for a series of studies called the strange situation experiment. And from the strange situation experiments, we get those traditional viewed upon attachment theory. But what she did was, she again, she had the mother and a child in the room, and so they introduce them to a new room. So the child is playing with toys and doing a lot of stuff, having a great time. And then so what she did was She would give the parent a cue to exit the room. Now the child leave the room, and then they would observe the child's response. Sometimes the child will cry. Sometimes the child will play.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:08:07]:
And then also she started implementing having a a guest come in as well. While the parent was in a room or if the parent left, then that guest that was there would kinda still try to console the child. However, again, the child doesn't know who this this this stranger is. Right? That's why it's called the strange situation experiment. And so based off of how the children respond in these types of situations comes the attachment style theories. 1 is, again, the secure. This is the most common attachment style secure, right? Children with secure attachments, feel set when they are away from their caregivers, but happy when they are back together. These children are okay with seeking comfort and support from their caregivers when they feel scared or worried.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:08:54]:
Then there's the anxious avoidant. Children who have an anxious avoidant attached and style don't show preference between the caregivers and their strangers. This can happen when children have experienced abuse, neglect, or punishment. Right? So you can imagine how, you know, I I can think of several situations where, I've I've had students that had the anxious avoidant attachment style. I remember a situation where I had a student in my special ed program, and teacher came and got one of the her teachers came and got me and said, hey, Sheldon. I need your help. 1 of my one of your students is having a hard time. I can't give them to come into the classroom, and so told me a story about how student was running late, L ringing, and the teacher is like, okay, time to come in the classroom.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:09:47]:
But what happened was this for some reason, the student was not ready to go in. So the pair of the teacher kind of coaxed her, you know, touched her by the shoulder and Eakins of like us try to usher her into the room, and that is when student just flipped out. Just don't touch me. Just start screaming, hollering, and so now the teacher's coming to my room to try to get some support. So I run down there, grab student, and I say, hey. Oh, I didn't physically grab her, but I say, hey. Come with me. Let's talk for a second.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:10:17]:
So we go to the room, and the student shares with me a story that she had. Now this student had had experience living in the fox in a in a foster care system. And so what happened was when she remembers as a young child, she was out on a playground, and she was playing, and the child protective services, individual came and took her. Right? And she remembers as she was on the playground, The child the CPS person comes and says, time to go. You're coming with us, and of course, she didn't know who this woman was, and she left her jacket on one of the swings. She tried to go back to get her jacket, but when she went to go try to get her jacket, that CPS person took her butt and shoulder and ushered her towards the car. So that teacher, again, best intentions, had absolutely no idea of this backstory, just, you know, just trying to get her into the classroom. And as a result, That moment triggered to that child her experience as a as a young student and the trauma that was attached to that.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:11:23]:
K. So a lot of times, we don't necessarily know the background stories behind our kids and what might trigger them, what type of challenges they might have, their experiences growing up, but that would be one example of an anxious avoidant student. An anxious ambivalent student, for example, is a child who has this attachment style gets very upset when their caregiver leaves. No matter how long it is. This attachment style is not as typical, and it happens when children can't rely on their caregivers. So there's some trust challenges. Right? They're not really sure. They're not really sure as far as, you know, is this an individual that I can trust? Are they gonna let me down? Think about those situations, and it's unfortunate, but, you know, there's certain pro I'll just say there's certain programs out there, teacher programs that, you know, you join their organization, and, you know, you spend time a couple years, 3 years, or whatever it is, and you work in these environments.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:12:23]:
Often, inner city, urban, you know, I'll use the coded language. Right? Urban schools, these Eakins of areas, and then you work there for a couple years or so, and then they'll pay your student loans back. But what happens? A lot of those teachers don't stay Right? A lot of those teachers will, you know, do their time. I don't know. Maybe that's not the best way to say it. They will spend their time to get their loans paid back, and then they L go off to another school. And I've had a lot of students will ask that same question. Soon as that brand new teacher shows up, How long are you planning to be here? Because historically, they know there's so much churn.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:13:00]:
There's so much turnover with their teachers. There's always a brand new teacher, every couple years. Teachers don't state. Kids can see this, especially our schools are like 6 to 12. I've seen these things where it's like they got a brand new teacher every year, and so a lot of times the students, they it's hard for them to connect with teachers because there's that trust. I don't know how long this teacher's gonna be here. And so as a result, I may not just the relationship is just not gonna be as strong because there's some trust factors, because these students have, you know, in the past, I had a teacher that I really loved and they left. And this doesn't consider maybe how things might have been at home, or maybe there were some abandonment or some neglect feelings and things like that for them as Eakins, as even at in a home situation.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:13:51]:
Now school, again, being in a safe place, safest place for me, and then my my teachers, the staff won't stay. So you can imagine how the anxious, abidilant sometimes there's a lot of our students, again, background information that we may or may not be privy to, But sometimes students will ask those type of questions. How long are you planning to be here? Are you are you just here for a couple of years? I know that, you know, teach students will know, Oh, are you part of this program? And if you're part of this program, they automatically write you off. And then as a teacher, you're trying to figure out. I don't understand Why I'm having such a hard time with my students? L can't seem to connect with my students? And the reason why it might be is because they don't believe that you're going to stay that long. Okay? So that is one example of what an anxious ambivalent attachment might look like. Alright. The last 1, which is rare, this is not as a common again, the most common is secure attachment style, but the disorganized okay.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:14:49]:
Children with disorganized attachment styles don't display specific behaviors when separated from or reunited with their inconsistent caregiver actions where the child sees their guardian as both a source of comfort and fear. Again, this one is not as prevalent, but this is one of the attachment styles that was discovered. Now what should you be doing? K. So those are just a few of the attachment styles, and just a little bit of background. Again, I'm I'm a history guy, so I had to go through the the historical standpoint. But hopefully, you could see how this relates to education. It says caregiver, but during those early childhood k L days, who are our students spending them our children spending the most time at school. So school, again, needs to be safe.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:15:39]:
It needs to be a safe haven for our students in a situation in which all of our students feel as if they be long, a place where Our students feel as if they can trust their staff, the caregivers, if you will. Those things are all important. So what are some things that you should be doing? Making sure that you're developing relationships with your students. You are you you show them that you care not just by telling them that I care about you, but you're also taking the time to do it through actions. So I feel like maybe I'm preaching to the choir in this moment. Power may be considered as a reminder for you. Attachment theory suggests that healthy bonds between educators and children in the classroom can help lead to greater social emotional regulation, higher confidence in taking on new challenges and even improved academic performance later in life. This stuff will follow a student, a child throughout their life, and this can easily be determined.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:16:44]:
I I saw a study that said that based off of that attachment style that was that might be assessed early on to, like, 1, 2 years old. They were able to predict with 77% accuracy, whether or not a student would drop out of high school or not with 77% accuracy based off of this theory. And so the research does support this. This is not just doctor Eakins telling you attachments are important and relationships are important. There's research that supports this. Furthermore, relationships matter at the end of the day. The important thing about relationships is again, it sets the tone how one relates to friendships, school, staff, parenting, and relationships as adults. K.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:17:30]:
Whether that's platonic or romantic, all of that can be connected to their attachment styles. Thinking about it from a sense of belonging, going back to the formula, accept it, support it, and include it. That is all part of it. Relationships matter. Most children fail in school, not because they lack the necessary cognitive skills, but because they feel detached, alienated, and isolated from others, and from the educational process. I've read something earlier today as, you know, I I hate the I hate the term at risk, not one of my favorite terms, so I try not to use it. So let's just say they're individuals who need additional support. Alright? From an equitable standpoint, you have students that need some additional support when it comes to attendance when it comes to maybe even academic support, those kind of things.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:18:32]:
And often there's a story that's behind these things. Why is a student not showing up to school? Why is student getting into a lot of fights, or there's something that's deeper in there. Sometimes we go into the reactionary mode, and we forget to really find out what's really happening. And often, again, students, as that quote says, most children fell in school not because they lacked the skills, but they're having a hard time connecting or feeling connected. They feel isolated. They feel alienated. Maybe their identity is not observed, or maybe they feel like, you know, I had to be someone totally up someone someone else. I don't get to be myself when I come to school.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:19:17]:
I get to be myself in my neighborhood. I can be exactly who I wanna be. All my attributes, everything I'm interested in, all these things Like, I'm I feel very comfortable at home. I feel very comfortable in my neighborhood. But for some reason, when I come to school, I feel like I'm shunned. I'm alienated. Not only and my peers not connecting with me, but my teachers, everything. And so then we start to see challenges with attendance, things like that.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:19:42]:
Here's the thing. What you may not know about me is I have a fear, a very strong fear of bees. I'm terrified of these. If I see 1 playing around, you know, you swadd them. It's not me. I'm running. I have a, I don't I don't know if it's a phobia, and if there's a be a phobia or whatever it is, but I I'm terrified of bees. And here's why.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:20:05]:
When I was a little kid, 1 summer, I was staying with my grandmother in in Alabama, and, was outside playing with my toys. My grandmother was cutting the grass, and when she was cutting the grass, she went over a a bee's I guess, a bee's nest. Maybe it was yellow jackets or something, but they have their nest in the ground. I'm afraid of bees in general, but I think this was particularly, a hornet's nest or yellow jack. I'm pro probably yellow jacks now. I'm thinking about it. K. I was a little kid.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:20:39]:
She says, Sheldon, run into the house. I just went over this nest. You need to run-in the house, and I was playing on my toys. I love my toys. I didn't want my toys to stay outside. And so what I did was rather than running straight into the house, leaving, dropping everything, running straight into the house, I went back to go get my toys. I was attached to to those toys. Guess what happened? I got stung by the whole net.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:21:10]:
Like I got stung up. I had to go to the hospital and everything. Right? I got tow up by these bees L jackets. I was willing to get stung just to save my toys. That's how attached I was. Now what does that have to do with anything? Because I'm not saying you want your your students so attached to your school or to you that they're willing to get stung. No. That's not what I'm saying.

Dr. Sheldon Eakins [00:21:37]:
What I'm saying is that bond, that relationship that you have between students and yourself relationships in so important.

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